Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
