So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
