yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
