In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm both gender and math confused
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
