I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
