He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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