o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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