you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
