I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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