So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
