omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
