She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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