So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
