my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
