I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
