Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
