he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think your dad took our porno
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
