OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We had sex on a dog bed..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
