you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
