I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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