The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
