drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
