So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
