i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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