i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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