i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Randomize
