And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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