so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
