He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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