So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
