I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
