I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
