Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
