Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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