My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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