I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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