he puts the penis in happiness.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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