Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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