You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
