I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
