So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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