it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
