I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
