Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think people are normalizing furries
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
