why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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