Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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