I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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