8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
