That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
