Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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